For years, we have all been living in a state of culinary ignorance, blindly spreading butter across our toast like peasants. Thankfully, a new instructional video has emerged to finally settle the debate on the proper way to butter bread, and frankly, my life will never be the same.
The tutorial begins with a bold, avant-garde suggestion: using a cheese grater to apply your butter. It is the kind of disruptive innovation that Silicon Valley dreams of. As the video demonstrates, dragging a slice of bread across the jagged metal teeth of a grater effectively turns your breakfast into a pile of confetti. It is a revolutionary way to ensure your bread is essentially destroyed before you even take a bite. The video notes, “When buttering your bread, you should not use a cheese grater,” and “This will just tear your bread.” A fair point, I suppose, though I suspect the avant-garde crowd might call it “deconstructed toast.”
After showing us this visionary, albeit destructive, technique, the video pivots to the conventional wisdom we’ve all been ignoring. The narrator suggests, “Instead, you should use a knife.” It is a quaint, old-fashioned idea, really. Who has time for the nuance of a butter knife when you could be shredding your sourdough into oblivion? We often take these mundane, everyday tasks for granted, assuming there is a “right” way to handle a condiment and a slice of wheat. This video shatters those illusions.