When Bob Mortimer’s heart stopped beating for a full 32 minutes in 2015, he joined an exclusive club of people who’ve peeked behind life’s final curtain. Like many before him, he saw that famous bright light. Unlike most, he returned with both his life and his sense of humor fully intact.
“I felt happier than I’ve ever felt, ever,” says the beloved British comedian about his near-death experience, his eyes twinkling with characteristic mischief. It happened during a triple bypass surgery, after doctors discovered his arteries were 95% blocked – a cardiovascular traffic jam that would make London rush hour look like a quiet country lane.
The surgery itself came with an unexpected romantic twist. Just 30 minutes before going under the knife, Mortimer married his long-term partner Lisa Matthews in what might be the world’s most dramatic “speak now or forever hold your peace” moment. Nothing quite says “till death do us part” like “I might be meeting death in about an hour.”
But death, that great cosmic joke, doesn’t frighten Bob anymore. His only frustration? Missing the end of life’s greatest stories – his children’s futures, his wife’s journey, and perhaps most crucially for any proper British bloke, how the football season turns out. “All the stories going on in the world that you’re going to miss the end of,” he muses, somehow making existential dread sound charming.
Scientists, ever the party poopers, tried to explain away his ethereal experience as merely a surge of brain chemicals that occurs near death. “It’s because your body gives out loads of PCT,” Mortimer explains with a hint of disappointment, like someone who’s just learned how a magic trick works. “I was a bit sad about that,” he admits, though you can almost hear him crafting a joke about it in his head.
The heart surgery, however, was just the opening act in Mortimer’s medical variety show. A recent battle with shingles – a condition that makes chickenpox look like a day at the spa – left him wheelchair-bound and potentially robbed him of 20% of his leg muscle mass. “Worse than my heart period,” he declares, which, given his history, is rather like saying “worse than that time I technically died for half an hour.”
These days, Mortimer’s back doing what he does best – making audiences howl with laughter, recently stunning viewers on Amazon Prime’s “Last One Laughing” with his impressive poker face. It seems that looking death in the eye has only sharpened his comedic timing and given his humor an extra edge.
The man who once feared death now faces life with renewed vigor – even if he might never run again. Though considering what he’s been through, maybe a brisk walk will do just fine. After all, when you’ve seen the light at the end of the tunnel and lived to tell the tale, perhaps life’s best enjoyed at a slightly slower pace, with plenty of time to appreciate the punch lines along the way.